Thursday, May 22, 2008

David Cook is Our American Idol!!!


For once, America (and/or American Idol) got it right. I'm not even going to waste energy wondering whether or not this was the producers' game plan all along. All that matters, now, is that the right man won tonight.

Kudos to Archuleta, though, for being a total class act as the runner-up. Kid's got talent, no doubt about it; I wish him the very best in his future career.

Not enough time or energy to do a full recap of tonight's typically bloated and schizophrenic season finale, with all its superfluous product placement and promotion and its weird juxtaposition of musical styles, so I'll just make some random observations roughly in the order they occurred to me:

-Randy seems to have raided Captain Kangaroo's closet. Ryan Seacrest is burnt orange. And was anyone else afraid Paula's dress was going to suffer a wardrobe malfunction at any moment?
-Mike Myers, I love ya from "Austin Powers," but your new movie looks crappier and crappier the more I see of it. Cook's "wtf" faces and Archie catching the shaving cream were hilarious, though.
-I'm still unimpressed by Jason Castro's "Hallelujah." But I have to say he really does sound nice in his lower range. He should stay there.
-Syesha, as usual, looks gorgeous, esp. in the Donna Summers number. She has a disgustingly perfect body. Underwhelmed by the duet with Seal, though.
-Could Amanda Overmyer look more miserable than she did on stage tonight? Everyone else looked like they were having fun.
-Carly and Michael Johns in excellent voice tonight. "The Letter" was awesome. Good to have you back, guys!!
-Jimmy Kimmel can be funny. Just apparently not on anything related to "American Idol." Although he did remind us of Paula's moment of clairvoyance, heh.
-David Cook and ZZ Top? Um, ok. Actually, that was pretty hot. Archie and One Republic: not so much.
-Ditto for those Guitar Hero "Risky Business"-inspired ads. Wishing Cook's shirt was a little shorter, and grateful that Archie was wearing boxers. A perv I may be; a pedophile I'm not.
-Graham Nash and Brooke White sound pretty good together. Nice to see Brooke relaxed and smiling.
-Wow, there really is a male version of Hannah Montana. Only they're a band. And are they really brothers? Argh, these kids are making me nostalgic for Hanson. Since when does "other half" rhyme with "broken glass"?
-Renaldo and the USC Trojans: I want those five minutes of my life back. There's a REASON I don't watch the early round bad auditions, ok?
-Gladys Knight deserves better Pips than the Stiller-Jack Black-Downey, Jr. stooges. Although Downey, unlike the other two, looks like he has something resembling rhythm. But who the hell is going to pay to download this lame attempt at humor, even if it's going to charity?
-Jordin's voice sounds pinched and strained. Carrie U's sounds off-pitch, though maybe that's just the song. Neither of their songs is doing anything for me, sorry.
-The lyrics to "Father Figure" sound funny coming from the boys. Naked preacher teacher, what?
-George Michael still has a surprisingly good voice, even for having a cold. But man, that ballad is so drippy. (Sorry, GM fans!) Maybe this is Archuleta in 25 years? He could certainly do worse!
-Simon apologizes to David C, and what do you know, he sounds sincere. Ryan mentions the 12 million vote differential again...that just seems like an unnecessary dig at this point. It's going to be a tough enough moment for the runner-up as it is...
-Cookie wins!! COOKIE IS THE AMERICAN IDOL! WOOHOO!!! Aw, he's crying....and aw, he and his family are so sweet.
-I can't believe the words "magic rainbow" just came out of David Cook's mouth. Man, this song is even worse than the ones from yesterday. But who cares, he's singing it! He won! He won! And look how he's hugging and supporting Archie. Those two are adorable together.

I've never been so ridiculously happy for someone I don't know and am unlikely ever to meet. But I know I'm not the only one, and I'm not ashamed. This is the only proper conclusion to a great story: the story of a personable, majorly talented guy who wanted to make a career out of music, worked his butt off to make it happen, and then serendipitously found his way to a level of fame and national exposure he could hardly have imagined in his wildest dreams.

Sometimes happy endings do happen to the right people. David Cook is one of them.


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